I'm awake.. I'm awake..
Life's still slow and monotonous as usual.. Until this sighting of an old unusual homeless lady yesterday..

She carried and air of nothing but grim, ominous, nothing good.. Furnitures packed neatly, tucked right in front of our block's letter box, with her old mattress tied on top, she's sitting by the side. She's been there since yesterday morning, not moving an inch from the space, nothing came, and yet we're all not sure have she eaten anything. She just sits there on a portable chair, just gazing away...

It pains me. This sight..
_the end

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People

Disclaimer:

this is obviously and absolutely boring work of mine since i'm rooting myself on my computer chair.
im just simply doing this as an act of procrastination for my shower. despite this, all works here are base on my thoughts long ago and any similarities to situations or character is either coincidental or it's basically me being stereotypical.

People. Vol 1

The Many People.

A cheery school girl, who skips to school everyday, humming her favourite melody.
slack to the fullest, copying school work from her studious friend.
the little girl who dance in the rain, holding her hands outwards to the skies, as if touching the many confetti that're thrown to her during the celebration of life.
the wet confetti thrown by the invisible arms from the heavens.
the other way to look at rain in life...

***

The little baby, being strapped onto his mum, his head wobbling in an unstable momentum against his mother's pace down the road. Fascinated, he say giant machines that looked similar to the mini toy cars he played, roaring loudly across the road, not forgetting the mystical stick which shoots out beams of lights which control the cars, as if the conductor of a major band playing a beautiful symphony.
The naive baby.
"Oh, mummy's moving when it's green light too. So do we gets controlled by that mystical stick when we grow up to?"

***

Threads of white hair can be seen forming on the side, sitting on the red coffeshop chair which everyone knows, he heave his legs off his slippers and rest them on another.
On it's tables are many gleaming bottles that reflected against the old florescent light in the coffeeshop. Lying back his head, he breathed in the burning paper stick wrapped with nicotine and felt smoke work it's way in this body as he draws it down into the lungs. Some crushed bet slips are seen on the floor, probably an act of wrath when felt betrayed by the god of wealth. Streams of smoke came out in line from his nostrils, as if an mechanical dragon.
"Eh Chio eh, Lai Yi Duo Yi Ping Carlsberg!"

***

Looks like i got lazy again. Time to shower~

time

just bored, and wanted to hit something... life's just like routine. mundane, just like any other calm sea. the jungle's silent, and silence itself had it's own way of flaunting it's beauty. the beauty of nothing. just like a clean sheet of white paper. just what i need. life isn't that hard now that i think of it. there's lot of areas i have to work on, looks of "decision-math" that i need to do. calculating the best time for taking MA, Offs and all is enough to keep me busy. and of course, doing real work. & recently, im caught up by this unusual fatigue. got tired recently, dozing off extra easily. am i old ? and no matter how, laziness still stays in me. it's like as if it's human nature to be lazy. # FML (you just wasted 2 minutes of your time for reading this unnecessary chunk or random typing)

190412

I'm actually typing this in the midst of the jam. Unfortunately, my bus's caught in this screwed up jam which I thought, won't be coming in our way as I'm ahead of the clock.
Traffic's hectic now and with all the slow forward and break's killing me.

The air of thursday. Isn't that great. Surprisingly, I'm reluctant to go for my MA today. Once in a millionth. My social links are all messed up and I ought to do something about it.

***

Wednesday end on a okay note, but.. I just can't help waking up, feeling all emotional about it. As if I'm heaving my legs, chained to a thousands regrets of what could have happen if..

what could have happen if I knew you early?
what could have happen if I didn't turned into a monster?

And a thousands of such hypothetical questions that lead us to daydream, be it for a happy ending or no..

***

The road is surprisingly clogged and curious people are constantly starring out to the road, at this chain of endless cars queuing up, not knowing what went wrong. There I am, sucked in vehicle TIB569J stamping my fingers onto my keyboard to kill time. Apparently it's not working very well with all the momentary jerks which always brings me back into reality.

With 20mins stucked in the bus, we concluded the jam with an end scene of a motor being crashed into a honda. Guess that's what ruined our day. Ruined mine, big time.

***

Back to my story, with traffic going smooth, guess I'd got a lot of things to do. To manage things...

***
_the end

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030512

"Fuck, left so little?"

I cursed as I read the receipt that I'd just pulled out from the atm. Mental calculations and recollections from what I'd done started to pour into my mind. Yet, I didn't remembered spending that much.

Transportation cost always take its toll on me, yet life w/ such minimal pay as compared to working society just sucks.

***

My week was rather 'happening' I would say. Already numbed in camp, I'm living everyday on a routine level, habit, duty, responsibility, whatever you can call it.
Yet, I'd started an expensive habit, which was ironic as I was starving myself in camp to save $$$. Heading out after camp. It could be anything, be it out for coffee, or dinner, or just hang around as if waiting for something to happen. And sadly, it'd been says since I last seek refuge on the comforts of my room, surfing the net or just probably gaming, and wasting life away.

Certainly it wasn't battleship on that wednesday night movie session that left me thinking, but it just daunt upon me that how precious is time and yet we're wasting it. It's like shedding blood in a twisted hourglass. U can't topple it to start all over again, u have to keep yourself on the move, because once it's over, it's really over..

Sitting in a seemingly empty bus, I felt helpless over the outcomes of life I could've reach. A make or break, a steady slow income that would probably needs me to shoulder my debts for decade(s). I just don't know what seems right.

Fuck my life for such retarded morning thoughts.

***

Am I trying to hard to make things right?
Why things always go wrong when I tried going to the extra mile? I really can't help but wonder what is wrong. Is there something wrong with us?? So many years, yet this eye sore still persist..
Why just can't things sail smoothly?

I'm so scared, and tired..
I don't know what to say anymore..
_the end

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Last week

The air of monday.. Definitely wasn't a good one. I'm going be done with april. Just did my duty last week..

Tuesday isn't that great, but my time had grown wings and yes are they flying through this week. Just cleared midweek and looks like thursday and friday would be an easy day with 2 half days off.
Appointment on friday and I'm force to clear off for my thursday as there're no superiors in camp.

Felt so unusually surreal today. Unusually..

& Y the hell no one believe I enjoy appreciating art?

***

Guess I would probably go do some self discovery out there on thursday~ it's time I take some time off for myself.

***

the week for d-day..
_the end

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[Full Movie] 那些年, 我們一起追的女孩; You Are The Apple Of My Eye (HD 720p)

a movie for you: [Full Movie] 那些年, 我們一起追的女孩; You Are The Apple Of My Eye (HD 720p)



 



it's a very good movie so it's a pity if you missed it.
so i'll just post out movies here for bored people, who're all over the whole, trying their luck for this movie up on the net. it's still quite rare, so i'd hope they chance upon my blog to watch this awesome movie.

Cheers.

can't help how much this movie, swept me off my feet. it's a good food for thought

170412

We're at the third week of April alrdy.. Fast isn't it? Been doing nothing much, literally just rotting my weekends away. And things definitely aint look good for me with my duty coming up at this saturday. So, FML.

Tuesday today and monday kinda suck. Wait, didn't monday always suck? Finally, tried out Dota 2 since it's been in my steam for damn long. and well it kinda rocks, felt like a different game, with the air of familiarity with it. Nicer graphics, heroes, with abit of different set of pros and cons to look at.. But nevertheless, just as I thought things would be different, they're sadly the same thou.

Leavers. Feeders. You name it u get it. Its like the same ol' garena thing. If you're losing, leave.

***

My day wasn't that bad.. It just past slowly. Life's such mystery
_the end

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Time of our lives

Cramped like sardine on 961, I'm finally on my way home.. Weekends.. Can't believe I survived the 5 days work week.

Things haven't been look good recently, the rains the storms. Why must our life have downs that brings us to the rock bottom pits down in our heart..?
Again, playing the silent therapist. I'd been there, I know nth helps. Nth could remedy a cut on your heart.

Not just that, another guy in my social link's having brother issues too.. All this.. Just makes me feel so helpless. I'd wish I'd more time, to make things better. That explains why I didn't have any appointment this week. I couldn't just let my bro tank all the shit when he's in this state. That's the least I could do.. Guess that's the least.

I won't appreciate such dramas, I questioned the unfairness. Maybe it's karma, maybe it's the inevitable chain cycle.. I don't know.. I just can't take it lying down for us sensitive guys.
It's like a bless and a curse, as if being bestowed with the third eye, what we see hear felt, amplified. And the arrogant doesn't feel a shit, but we do, we saw we feel. Sometimes the truth's hurtful too. Down there, with doubts fear churning out this evil concoction that send u down to the deepest pit of life.

And you bro, whatever you pursue. Wherever you go, I'm pretty sure our life will cross one day. just that it isn't here yet. Thou we spend more than half of our working day together. You know your time's here. Let's hang out someday. The whole of our club and the dept peeps. Huat ah~

Bro number 3. You know how weird our social link was form. We got pretty close, despite having time for each other. I know you'd got your life, and I'd got mine. thou we tried to compromise.. I felt sorry for you bro.. For your expensive lesson in life. Nevertheless, it'd been a joy that we once fought in tartarus tgt..
My fingers, tired, spitting out this chunk of lousy passage couldn't express how I feel. Couldn't...

***

hope things would be better for my guys. Hoping that going thru this rough patch would make you guys stronger.. to a better man.

Cheers.

***

I won't really like to end things on this depress note, but.. Seeing defeats after defeats, just makes me feel pretty down.. I hope this weekend is good enough to numb us all.. Us all..
_the end

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Fate 120412

Ever wonders how much does fate love to make fun of us. How lovers got separated by waves of obstacles or some little random jackass in the box that had got it all planned out for..

That applies the same to friend too. This rowdy journey in life wasn't spared as well. how important yet unimportant friends are. They're like the super soldier serum. They amplify accordingly.. Mix with bad company and you'll soon find yourself lying down in some random stairway, injecting drugs or sniffing glue. Good ones would value life, studious, doing whatever good you might think of. But then ironically, most friends doesn't last forever. For life's too long a journey to say. People come and go your circle. Some stay, some goes, some waver around the edge. If you'd got commitments, your circle would inevitably shrink, for it may not hold that much people.
However at the end of the day, are those who walk along side with you to your graves your best buddy??

I'd got a few close friends too. Ironically, it's close to 0 as well. Seeing much in life, I'd thought either it's the usual hi byes acquaintance or your close brother/sister in arms that march by your side through thick and thin.

this thought kinda struck me as I'd thought abt how many friends I'd lost throughout my journey in life as we're not up for the test. Other priorities, commitments, or even new social links.
Not many stayed.. At the end of the day, there're moments of solitude too..
So, cherish the moment now, call up your weekend buddies and enjoy the night as if it's the last meeting. Have fun, have fun while it last..
_the end

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Time 110412

Still reluctant to open my eyes after hearing my alarms. I rested for a bit.. Just a tiny bit to see how far my dream would go...

Next time I know, I'm rushing to prepare, occasionally checking the clock. I'm still in time..? Yes seems like it. Despite preparing unusually fast, I then make my way down, checking my watch to make sure. I'm even. 2 minutes ahead of my time, yet smrt wants to be a jackass and how I saw my bus pass me for it being 5 mins ahead of schedule. fml

***

Vz4schxdfh wruns? Gacyesiclayb..

It will rain.. Seems like it did..
I know nth we say would help.. Strings of thoughts and lines came to my mind. But I guess, silence is the best words of comforts. It does not exist, yet the presence of company makes it strong enough.. Strong enough..
_the end

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爱情像石头，会摩擦起火。

I ran down my estate, down the usual slope. I'm a little off my clock. I could feel the morning breeze slapping me.

Mundane monday, as always as I drag my reluctant body off to work. I asked for no rain. So it didn't rain today, but why am I still unhappy?

***

Luckily, there's not much work piling up for us. Just lazing around, attending to random help. And we all talked. Seems like the phrase women from venus and men are from mars is so true isn't it?

How we just find it as hard to figured out their mind as if clicking randomly with the rubik's cube trying to solve. But given the 21st centuries, comes experts who can even solve it with their eyes closed. Players, jerks, whatever u can name of.

Making things to work, is it that hard? I know it's not. It's actually not.
playing the helpless therapist while I saw him cast the dice and awaits his fate.

***

Life's a puzzle. So what's your story?

Didn't know what I'm yanking @ well maybe I'm just not at the best of my mood. Fatigue D:

Long stretch of things to do, with reviving my laptop being first. Welcome back~
_the end

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050412

Well, here comes 'friday'. My week's ending a day early thanks to good friday. I hope that friday would be good.

Been feeling some shagness and laziness due to my desktop. Yes, my poor custom rig that use to be my pride. Like all desktop, the day to reformat would probably come.


Yes, it came a little too soon I know, just so that win7'd got some issues, it's making me probably shag. Maybe my desktop too :( struggling to live. Honestly I do have feelings for my desktop, something which accompanied my night everyday, beaming up it's luminous blue lights. U might think that I'm crazy, but coming from a poor family, I craft out it's specs myself, paid for it myself. It's my prized possession.

***

And here comes weekend~ and a long one :D
Hope things would work out well..
_the end

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270312. VS

Ever heard of the saying health is wealth?

But why wealth always be sought upon as the object of evil, the root of all evil. Whereby health would be mortality, living. The law of opposites never fails to confuse me as in my journey of lives when always at some point of time would I have sudden thirst of wealth, I started weaving useless dreams, the greed comes to play. Its not that bad to dream, but what does wealth really means?

***

Unkowningly, I'd been to 2 place today. One would 'showcase' health, and the latter, shows the other.

Or 3.
Places that would show phrases of life
School, Hospital, Mall.

Owing a favor to my friend, things went my way and I'm a little too early for my appointment, so.. Sitting in the comforts of the hospital bench, I have to endure occasional splatter of the rain as the hospital isn't fully sheltered.

...

TBC?
_the end

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Wait

(Late post)

The people looks slacker. The cars are not sticking close, honking. The pace are slowing. Yes.. It's friday.

Bet the weekend dreams are not vividly planted in their minds now. No more vague blurry ideas. Where to go, who to call, who to meet. They got them all.

My fridays are pretty much mundane. No booze nor grinding maidens. Just me and a few brothers. See those bunch of losers wanting to get laid? We're sort of similar.
My weekends are still as mundane. With the usual movie and lan. Throw in some occasional booze and that pretty much sums it all..

***
Week of april.

Too broke to spend. Can't wait for payday~
_the end

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Tuesday 030412

Tuesday.. Exactly 1 more week before my pay day comes. I'm totally drained out of cash and I'm even using my separate savings to fund my needs now.

With good friday coming right up, this 4 day work week also made tuesday feels like mid week. I felt better at the thought of that.

With my duty tucked neatly at the 3rd week of april, there's nothing I would need to worried about...yet.

***

Today's rather slack thou, spend the day utilizing my social links and all.. Alrdy been numb to the cons in here and.. Looks like the jungle's not that bad after all.. For now..

Mind's all pinned to the early weekends..

Did nothing much except the usuals.. Staying in the league and meeting adel for dinner.
Dolce vita ~
_the end

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Rainy monday 020412

It's the first monday of april 2012, and I'm certainly not enjoying it. Not the monday blues, and certainly not the rain..

With the traffic crawling, I looked out to the heavy rain. How am I suppose to go thru this? I wondered. The winds are extremely big and the rains belt against my wooden door of my tiny little hdb flat. Such days would be best used to sleep, or enjoying a hot coffee @ the league.

But there I am, ironically, steering my umbrella against the wind, as if I'm an amateur pirate fighting against the huge storm. I hold onto the metal structure carefully, steering it against the wind as any wrong move might literally destroy the umbrella, given the strength of the wind. Despite reaching early, the bus stop's crowded, traffic's slow..

Still stuck on the bus which is stuck on the road.. I do love going to camp late, but given this pace, I would rather I be at the comforts of my camp.
Stucked w/ the people of my time zone, with most of them throwing occasional glances at their watches. Giving each other the, fark I know I'm blardy late k face. That's why I dread rain.. It puts things out of routine, despite being the most emotionally attached weather.

***

Still stucked. I could see people getting impatient as it's about an hour. Young adults, jc students tweeting in disgust, where the old looked out into the rain, taking things easy.

Reached the bottom of the hill @ 8 plus and I squeal in delight when there's still shuttle bus service, specially indented for us due to the rain.

Glad boss's mood's good and we're not fuck or going to get fucked in any manner. And with random work here and there like an internet pop ups, thereby concludes my monday..

Looks like it's not that blue after all!
Back to the league~ can't wait for the new champion rotation tmr.
_the end

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4U

The breeze of thursday can by. Always fresh, one of the best day in the weekdays. Firstly we'd got western for lunch, and bon appetite! 1 more day to friday~

I'm free of my duties for now and things are not much of a chore unless..

The jungle's getting dark every now and then, with the abundant canopy filtering the sunlight. Little animals like us scrambled around, trying to survive. But what're we fighting for? This unkown predator who's set to make our life difficult.

***

My days wasn't that great. Wasn't in the best of mood. Thou with my persona, I rose up in the ranks, im unusually quiet, throwing in occasional jokes. Confused. Or rather I asked myself what had I become..

Funny how the web of intrigues ties us together isn't it? How I became a monster. And why would I be such a beast to hurt such a fallen angel, who showered me with endless kindness and love throughout the years.

How our past chase us like hell hounds. How our past can't leave us, follow us till the grim reaper came to collect our soul..
How inevitably funny when I'm the ring master of the hell hounds, casting them to tear your flesh and souls.

***

My story is complicated, probably too complex to weave what's in my mind into a drama. But I do believe in this fairy tale. Whether have u fallen from the skies, or whether is this fated, is this important? Think man-made destiny. I clasped my palms together, in between joss sticks, seeking advices and blessings from the ancient idols that chinese's worship for years. I need, a voice to heed. A voice who could calm the rage in my mind of seas, a voice who could hail light and bring us out of darkness.

Like an angel with broken wings, u rest upon my beastly claws. U never thought of returning to where you came from, for u might forgot how it's like to stay in the heavens, safely guarded by your parents. And how I changed you, tore ur soul apart and break your heart. How beastly I am, going on occasional rampage and how u embrace me to your bosom, telling me everything will be alright.. I saw how u use ur tears to mend my heart and soul, but what can I do? I still couldn't fight the inner demons in my mind. I wanted to embrace you, love you. But things just kept go out of the way..

I threw u like a toy, a ragdoll who's always smiling no matter what the owner did to it. Talk to it when he's feeling happy or vent his frustration, crushing it's invincible cotten content with his fist, or stamping with his feet. There the ragdoll still smiles. Oblivious to its tears. The owner took it as some water which the ragdoll might got it's wetness from. There from the corner of the eyes, the ragdoll saw the owner left..with tears streaming down her eyes.
You're my happy pill
***

Now angel, can we live to see the lights?
Tell me we can and I'll hold your hand forever.
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280312

I breathed in the air of wednesday.. The air of the midweek.. Looks like I'm not staying for duty afterall~

***

Wednesday passed in a flash..

***

Somehow..

I..

I can't sleep..

...

Why does it hurt so much..

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